*hears MC Hammer thundering through the speakers*

Somebody turn that racket off!

*struggles out of bed, runs up to Mel in the Bridge and pulls the plug on the radio*

Some of us are trying to... meditate!

=O Bob! what are you doing!? ..

Yah right.. meditating.. not with those guilty looking eyes!

*waits for bob to walk off before plugging the music back in.. this time with the song..'Girls just wanna have fun'*

*waves to Bob* Lmao! nice pj's

PJ's! These are genuine buddhist meditation robes! Cost me a bomb, they did... *walks off to kitchen muttering*

Right.. well then pardon my ignorance bob!

*shouts* Hey! Grumpy Robes!.. can you make me some breaky well you're there?! *thinks* oh wait.. i've seen Bob cook..

*runs to catch up to Bob* er.. how about i come to the kitchen with you?

:O Does no one around here appreciate me! My cooking's not that bad - it hasn't killed me... yet

So what you cooking then Mel? Something nice I hope *big beaming smile*

haha.. bob.. it hasn't killed you yet.. because after 18 years.. you now have an immunity to it.. the rest of us though..not so luck

hmm.. okay i'll cook! i enjoy cooking .. and i know i won't get poisoned..

How do you feel about..toast.. (with butter and vegemite!) < vegemite b/c you are an aussie.. right?!.. and maybe some fried eggs and.. not bacon i don't lkike bacon.. ooh some hot sausages?!..

and maybe a muffin if there is any lying around!?

I'm amazing - I've been cooking since I was about 10 months old!

Vegemite! What ever happened to good old-fashioned jam? Vegemite is love it or hate it, and I'm firmly in the latter camp!

No bacon? You sure you don't want me to cook... someone who won't do bacon doesn't belong in the kitchen!

I suppose it'll have to do... *sighs*

Yukk to your old fashioned jam..

ugh fine.. if you are going to complain.. just for you bob.. i'll fry up some bacon, okay?

and once again Bobby.. trust me your cooking.. er.. expertise isn't needed. *thinks to self* i want to live to see my 19th b'day thanks

Want me to do you a cake when it is your birthday, to celebrate?

Jam is far superior to your "vegemite"!

Woo, go bacon!

*gulp* No Thanks! *trembles in fear*

jam is superior is it?.. *grins* here you go have your jam.. *sticks spoon in jam jar and gets the ol' catapault action going* hmm.. shall i jam you??.. yep! *watches as a dollp of jam slides off Bob's face*

hehe is the jam tasty bob?

Edited at 03:03 Sun 27/04/08 (BST)

*licks jam off face*

It would be if it was strawberry jam!

*returns fire with a jar of marmite*

Take that, foul Aussie!

*Dives for cover behind the fridge*

:O, You didn't!?! oh Bob.. you do do know that this now means WAR don't you?!

Grr bob! i'll never be able to get this out of my hair! *rubs yukky marmite of face and rubs it on the floor, near the fridge* *thinks* i've seen enough lil critters get captured in documentaries.. im sure it will work with him!

*says in her sweetest voice* bob.. come out, i won't hurt you.. or splatter you with food..honest

*goes around other side of fridge with jam jar in hand* AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

*spots Mel coming round the fridge, her hair full of marmite and a terrifying look on her face, advancing menacingly with a jam jar in her hands*

AAAAAHHHH!!!!

*crawls for cover behind a cupboard door*

Get here you!

*puts jam jar down close to her and grabs two pots, and tip-toes over to the cupboard door and begins to bang the two together*

*shouts over noise of pots* if i can't scare you out with the jam, i'll get you out with this blasted noise! Mwuahaha Muwhaha

*pokes white tea towel on the end of a wooden spoon out through dorr*

I surrender! Just stop with the pans, they;re making my head hurt!

*slowly emerges from cupboard*

okay truce!

Just after i.. *empties the rest of the jam jar contents over bob's head*

that was fun..*looks around the kitchen* UH OH! Paula is going to murder us Bob!..unless.. you feel in the mood to clean.. well i go and wake everyone else up

*stomach rumbles* ooh we didn't even make any breakfast!

Some truce!

*wipes face with hand, then licks off jam* ... I taste good

Erm, cleaning... right away ma'am! *salutes, then goes in search of mop*

*finally finishes clearing up the mess Mel made in the kitchen, collapses to the floor*

Water! Need... water...

*stops filling her nails, after watching Bob do the cleaning*

*jumps off the bench and hands Bob a glass of water*

Geez bob! a person would think you've never cleaned before.. after all that effort, for a few dollops of condiments here and there..

It wouldn't have been quite so much effort if a certain someone had given me a hand!

I don't need a glass of water, I need a bucket to wash my expensive-but-now-ruined meditation robes in!