still funny tho lol

oh lol... sorry lol

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work.
Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you really going to let him get away with this?''

''No, I guess not,'' says God.

The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.

Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?''

To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''

the 8 year old boy who weighs 14 stone was asked earlier on t.v today what his favourite musical instrument was at school.
the fat b****** said the dinner bell

haha love that 1

gd 1 lmao

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"

The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

i wanted to send you something beautiful, kind, attractive, funny & sexy but the postman told me to take the stamps off my ar se and get the f*** out the postbox

eek!

lmfao at that pool

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".
The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!"

been advised to remove it

Edited at 17:15 Tue 27/03/07 (BST)

lamo gd 1(how come the bold button an tht are huge the now?)

i noticed that lol... thought it wa my comp

careful mate

thts wat i thought but its really only harmless fun lol

that wo a bit tyt lol iv heard it b4 tho

scientists have created a new powdered form off viagra to put in your cup of tea.......
it does nothing for erecetions but it stops your biscuit going soft

on here too but a really good one got me laughing lol

haha lol

Evry day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girls house. 1 day he he stops to taunt the girl. He holds up a football and says "See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can't have one!" The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mum about the encounter. She runs out and buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding home on his bike, and the girl shows him the football, yelling "Nah na nah". The boy gets mad and points to his bike."See this bike? This is a boys bike,and girls can't have them!"Next day, the boy comes by and the girl is riding a new boys bike. Now he is really mad. So he drops his pants, points at his private parts, and says "Only BOYS have these and your mum can't go buy you one! The next day as he passes the house he asks the girl "Well, what do you have to say NOW?"So she pulls up her dress, points to her private part and says "My mum told me that as long as I have 1 of these, I can have as many of THOSE as I want

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Continued...