One day a father and his five year old son went to the bank to cash a check.
There was a few people in front of them waiting for the bank teller. The lady
in front of them was a rather large well dressed business lady.
The kid could not help but notice her size. "Dad looks at her! She is so
huge!"

The father replied, "Be quiet! You must be polite and don't hurt her
feelings."

The kid persisted, "But dad she must weigh as much as a truck!"

The father, rather embarrassed, said, "Stop it or I'll take you outside!"

Just about then the ladies pager goes off ... "beep... beep... beep..."

The kid screams "Dad look out! She's backing up!"

AND STELLA IS BACK!!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Good one!

YAY! Even when he's sik too Go Stella

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation
for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation
agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the
minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several
years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the
increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the
minister.

Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an
Act of God!"

An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So is rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"

FOR SALE:

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.

No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything

I should feel offended, but it's hard when I'm laughing so hard

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a
Complaint of pains all over her body.

"Be more precise," he said. "So I can help you, try pointing to some of the
places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, "Ouch!" then her
finger to her hip and said, "Ouch!" and then to her rib cage and said, "Ouch!"
again.

The doctor stopped her and asked, "Were you a blonde before your hair grayed"?


"Why yes!" she said excitedly, "But how did you know?"

The Doc answered, "Your fingers broken."

PMSL! U talkin about meeeeeeeeee Lmao

Me ??? WTF ??

A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he
entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by
reciting the letters, "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him, Puzzled, and said
"T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."The blonde was trying
to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said, as sweetly as
possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a Quizzical expression,
"S-H-I-T."
The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she
said, "T-G-I-F,Thank Goodness it?s Friday, get it?"


The man answered,"S-H-I-T: Sorry Honey, its Thursday."

I dont get it Lmao
BUT I LIKE THE DOCTOR ONE!

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:-

Compliment her,
Cuddle her,
Kiss her,
Caress her,
Love her,
Stroke her,
Tease her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Spend money on her,
Wine & dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,
Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring Beer.

Edited at 19:58 Fri 23/02/07 (GMT)

LMAO ALL TRUE

PMFSL!!!!!!



YH Ruds it IS True cos u lot are like that!!! lmao

Its instinct paula!

A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,
"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have a
large whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it.
"Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second.
He then orders a third and a forth and downs them both.In fact in total
he downs 27 whiskeys. "Do you want another?" asks the barman. "No I don't
think so", says the man, "If 27 whiskeys won't take away the taste
I don't think that another one will!"

LMFAO!

LMAO Where do you get em from ?