HAHAHHA

A scientific genius a mathematical genius and a blonde go to hell,
the devil says you all get one question and if i get it wrong y0u can go to heaven
so first the scientific genius gives the devil the hardest scientific question known to man at which the devil jus laughs snaps his fingers and takes the answer out of a book
secondly the mathematical genius gives the devil the hardest math question known to man at which the devil jus laughs snaps his fingers and takes the answer out of a book
last of all the blonde goes up to him drills 5 holes in a chair and farts and then says "which hole did the fart come out of?" the devil says thats easy all 5
and to his surprise the blonde says "nope...my @sshole"

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and they sit down on two stools at the front and the guy says to the barman " two beers please barman", the barman pours them two beers and the giraffe grabs his and drinks it down in one go and then the guy follows suit. The guy then says again "another two beers please barman" and the barman pours two more beers and once again the giraffe sculls his down and the guy does likewise. This goes on for a fair while with the giraffe and the guy sculling beer after beer after beer. The two have had about 17 beers each and then the guy looks over at the giraffe who is starting to wobble on his stool......his wobbling gets worse and worse and eventually he just passes out and falls backwards off the stool onto the floor......the guy looks at him and then gets up off his stool and starts walking out of the bar. The barman then yells at the guy as he is ...
cont

leaving "HEY!...you can't leave that lyin' there" and the guy looks at the giraffe and then replies "that's not a lion that's a giraffe" and walks out.

OMG PMSL!!!

TOP 20 Reasons Chocolate Is Better Than Sex
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
...continued

16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!

LMAO....GOD I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE NOW!!

buy me some aswell babe

No way, if i buy some...its all mine, mine i tell ya!!

Mwahahahahaha!!!

i got choclate and not sharing

grrr damn u all

finished

A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive
woman he spotted dining alone. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and
said,"This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and
decided to send a reply note. Having written a quick reply, she asked the
waiter to take it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this
bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in
the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in
return.

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return
this to the woman. It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari
Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage.
There is over twenty million sterling in my bank account.
continued...

But, not even for
a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my willy. Just
send the bottle back."

no fair pool im tellin tht u dont share

u can have the wrapper if u wnt but thts all thts left

nah theres such things called bins for them m8

it got some melted chocolate on the sides

lmao m8 erm...na ill just go to ic cream van