Not an appropriate joke, not very family friendly.

Edited by forum moderator melz, at 04:07 Sun 19/09/10 (BST)

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-storey skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, "let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way."

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.

"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"

LOL smurf , was scott irish ?

this bird rang me the other day and said" come round ....theres nobody home", i went round, there was nobody home!

Lol, probably



Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Border Policeman stops them and tells them "It'sa illegal to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Idiot! Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.

"Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers, ze car is designed to carry 5 persons."

"You canta pull thata one on me!" replies the policeman. "Quattro meansa four. You hava five peoples ina your car and you are therefore breaka the law."

The German driver replies angrily, "Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"I'ma Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

lol

Two snakes in the middle of a jungle, One says to the other "are we poisonous?" "not sure, why?" replies the friend, "I just bit my tongue."

What do you do when a blonde girl throws a grenade at you?

PMSL I love the short one (STS) haha

Thats was a god one too Smurf haha

What do you call a woman playing funkypool with a pint of beer balanced on her head??

Lmao

goodun

Last night I banged my head just before going to bed, so I put some margarine on it.
The bump was still there after I woke up. I cant believe it's not better.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

can't rem if i put this up b4 but i think its still class...........

a blonde is sittin watchin the news with her hubby when the ewscaster says "Two brazilian men die in a skydiving accident"
the blonde starts sobbin "That's horrible!!!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused he says " Yes dear, it is sad but they were skydiving and there is always that risk involved"
After a few mins the blonde, still crying, says,
"How many is a Brazillion?"

A woman says " I wish i could have bigger breasts"
husband says "Try pushing them into the settee and staying like that all day"
She says "will that help?"
He says "Well it's worked on yer butt!"

PMSL @ THEM!

yes you did mate and its still a cracker 2nd time round

This Rooney hating has gone too far I'm outside old Trafford and there's a man burning small effigies of Rooney and selling them to fans! Oh hang on....... It's a baked potato stand!!

Haha Yetti

How do welsh men count their sheep?

1, 2, 3, Hello darling, 5, 6, 7...