CLASSIC JOKES
Viewing forum thread.
Back to Fun and Games.
Back to Forum List.
16:07 Tue 26 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
What are you thinking about?
Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked, "Three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, a hunter shoots one. How many are left?" "None," he says "if ones shot the others would fly away." "Actually", said the teacher "the answer was two, but I like the way you think." The next day Johnny walks over to his teacher in the cafeteria and asks, "Do you see those three women over there on the bench? Which one isn't married, the one eating the cookie, the one eating a sandwich, or the one sucking on a popsicle?" "Hmm, the one sucking on a popsicle?", the teacher asks" "Actually" said Timmy " it was the one without a wedding ring, but I like the way you think".
Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked, "Three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, a hunter shoots one. How many are left?" "None," he says "if ones shot the others would fly away." "Actually", said the teacher "the answer was two, but I like the way you think." The next day Johnny walks over to his teacher in the cafeteria and asks, "Do you see those three women over there on the bench? Which one isn't married, the one eating the cookie, the one eating a sandwich, or the one sucking on a popsicle?" "Hmm, the one sucking on a popsicle?", the teacher asks" "Actually" said Timmy " it was the one without a wedding ring, but I like the way you think".
16:39 Tue 26 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
dont get it (s)
p.s this topic is getting pretty large, it maybe needs to be capped, just an idea and supermega said to me today :- "i would just love to get booted because i hate the site everyone on it and the especially mods and admins its my dying wish and i have cancer please tell them wot i sayd DK because i cant type anymore im too ill because without this wish i cannot RIP cheers best buddy"
p.p.s these jokes get funnier(s) (eventhough i dnt get em)
and the (s) = sarcastic it should be on every topic just to help you supermega.
chaars
p.s this topic is getting pretty large, it maybe needs to be capped, just an idea and supermega said to me today :- "i would just love to get booted because i hate the site everyone on it and the especially mods and admins its my dying wish and i have cancer please tell them wot i sayd DK because i cant type anymore im too ill because without this wish i cannot RIP cheers best buddy"
p.p.s these jokes get funnier(s) (eventhough i dnt get em)
and the (s) = sarcastic it should be on every topic just to help you supermega.
chaars
07:56 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Whale's Tale
What do you get when you cross a blue whale and a sperm whale? I don’t know but you got a little something on your chin there.
What do you get when you cross a blue whale and a sperm whale? I don’t know but you got a little something on your chin there.
07:57 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Osama's Spawn
What did Osama name his last daughter?
Camela - after her mother.
What did Osama name his last daughter?
Camela - after her mother.
07:58 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Sleeping Squirrel
Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach?
To keep his nuts warm!
Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach?
To keep his nuts warm!
07:59 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Giant Underwater Bottom Feeder
What weighs 2000 pounds and lays at the bottom of the ocean?
Moby's Dick!
What weighs 2000 pounds and lays at the bottom of the ocean?
Moby's Dick!
08:00 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Condom Dog
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What do you do with all of those?"
The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What do you do with all of those?"
The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"
08:00 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Chicken...Underwear
Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Because their peckers are on their faces!
Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Because their peckers are on their faces!
08:01 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Blonde & Turtle
Q: What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: They're both screwed on their back.
Q: What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: They're both screwed on their back.
08:01 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Blonde and Prawn
What do blondes and shrimps have in common?
Their heads are full of shit, but the pink bits are nice.
What do blondes and shrimps have in common?
Their heads are full of shit, but the pink bits are nice.
08:02 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Bulldog + Shih tzu
Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu?
A. You get Bullshit.
Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu?
A. You get Bullshit.
08:03 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Late AGAIN
A kid was late for school one day.
"I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher.
"Couldn't your father have done that?"
"Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."
A kid was late for school one day.
"I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher.
"Couldn't your father have done that?"
"Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."
11:25 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Regular Toad and Horny Toad
What's the difference between a regular toad and a horny toad?
One says, ''Rib-it, rib-it,'' while the other says, ''Rub-it, rub-it.''
What's the difference between a regular toad and a horny toad?
One says, ''Rib-it, rib-it,'' while the other says, ''Rub-it, rub-it.''
11:27 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Birds Fly Upside Down Over Iowa
Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa?
Because it ain't worth a crap.
Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa?
Because it ain't worth a crap.
11:28 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Shop At WalRusMart
What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!
What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!
11:29 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Amishamed Of Myself
What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a horse's @ss?
A mechanic.
What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a horse's @ss?
A mechanic.
11:32 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Don't Welsh On Me
Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?
So the sheep push back harder!
Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?
So the sheep push back harder!
11:33 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Rooster Prozac
Why was the rooster so unhappy?
Because he only got laid once and it was by his mother.
Why was the rooster so unhappy?
Because he only got laid once and it was by his mother.
11:34 Wed 27 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Lonely Fishermen
What do you call a lonely fisherman?
A Master-Baiter.
What do you call a lonely fisherman?
A Master-Baiter.
| Unable to post | |
|---|---|
| Reason: | You must log in before you can post |
CLASSIC JOKES
Back to Top of this Page
Back to Fun and Games.
Back to Forum List.