lol keep em comin!!!!!!

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Scotsman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Scotsman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the artist that she wants a tattoo of santa claus on her inner right thigh and the thanksgiving turkey on her inner left thigh. The artist says, "ma’am that’s kind of a strange request ... might i ask why you want those particular tattoos there?" "Well", she says, "my husband’s always bitching that there’s nothing good in the house to eat between thanksgiving and christmas, so i thought i would fix that!"

HA HA HA HA HA HA Classic Stella,,,am gonna remember that one lmfao

Sorry no joke, just sayin goodnight to Paula and Steph..............and keepin this thread goin

As long as u tell us jokes this thread wont die hehe

Night hun *hugs*

Morning Stella (i cant sleep im too flippin hot am gonna try again now tho cya laters)

Gasp! shock! Horror! Stella,wheres me joke
Oh i hope ur ok i need this daily joke

A man is sitting in a bar on his own when a bowl of peanuts suddenly said "You're looking good today"

The man stared at the peanuts in disbelief, and then the cigarette machine suddenly shouted at him, "Oi mate, you look a right state, u bald headed fat git!"

The man called the barman. "I think I must be going mad. Your peanuts just said I look good today"

"Yes sir," said the barman, "The peanuts are complimentary"

"And the fag machine called me a fat git!"

"Ah, yes sorry sir, I,m afraid the cigarette machine is out of order!"

PMSL! gud one Mart



OOOOOOOOOOO Wheres our Stella???

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were just
about to begin arguing with each other about whether it was raining or snowing when they saw a
Communist Party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight
about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." As the official approached, the man said: "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or
snowing?" "It's raining, of course," he replied, and walked on. But the woman insisted,
"I know that felt like snow!" To which her husband quietly replied:

scroll down ur gonna love this........








"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

PMSL HAHA Very Good!

i just laughed out loud to my self when i read that. mega funny

d-oh!!!*slaps forhead* good 1 m8

Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.

The first surgeon says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says: "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no ballz, no brains and no spine, and the head and the a55 are interchangeable

LMFAO!

A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.

The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman.

The detective responded, "I think it's obvious. A cereal killer got her!"

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

Omg! Ha hahahahahahahah