I used to scrape and grovel
because i used to live in a hovel
sometimes i shout
wot am i on about
"oh god" give me a shovel

"oh dear little flo, i love you so,
especially in your nightie.
when the moonlightlight flits,
across your t i ts,
oh, jesus christ, almighty!"

derek n clive

L M F A O !! erm..hiya pmsl..........

gud poems them,,lol

Ste 2 in 1 hey? fabuloussssssssssss


Title:Shampoo

I like to tease my neighbourhood
and make the air turn blue
they think they've stepped in doggy goods
in fact, it is sham-poo

Yayyyyyyyyyyy ur back wooo woooo Swing keep them comin

Shampoo

When im in the shower, i look round the bath,
And realise that its so much like a lesson in math.
So many bottles, some are old, some are new,
And all that im doing is trying to find the shampoo.
I eventually pick a bottle, and pour it in my hand,
Then vigorously scrub my head, all this while i stand.
Then the cheeky water plays a trick, the soap is in my eyes,
And the tag that says 'no more tears' is all a pack of lies.
My eyes close tight, whilst my hands search around,
I cant believe this, i always slip and fall to the ground.
Narrowly missin the sink with my head, i wearily stand up.
And as i search for the taps, i feel a plastic cup.
It takes a minute, and all is fine, now the shower can be beat,
And then out comes the towel, to dry me from head to feet.

Edited at 23:26 Tue 23/05/06 (BST)

You scummy lousy cheating wh0re
I do not want to see you any more
you filthy evil lying hag
you succubus, you flaming scag
I can't believe you've been untrue
I can't believe you changed shampoo!
I thought you were a "Herbal Girl"
But now you've switched to Loreal

ooooooooo good poems!!!! love ures Ste glad ure baccc!!!!

swing im psml at that hahahaha tis greatttttt


Title: Date/s

OH i do wuv this thread soooooooo much


Gud poems , plz plz plz plzzzzzzzzzzzz keep them coming

yes yes what paula sed hehe more more moreeee!!!!!!

i was once invited to date
a girl who was extremely late
i took her to dinna
she said "ur a minga"
I guess that's what u call fate

I had a date with a girl named Jean,
But discovered the girl was the most obscene,
Person i had ever met,
She was such a self-pitying get.
She would burp and fart, as well as scratch her bum,
And would talk on the phone for hours to her mum.
I sat there shocked, with the food out of mind,
I was making an effort, trying to be kind.
Then she got drunk, she ended up having a fall,
Then was sick in the corner all over the wall.
It was the worst date in my life, never again,
She even picked my pocket for my gold plated pen.

hehe nice one.........true story ????
showing real emotion at the end there

hehe nay mate.

If that happened, i'd have to give her the hairy side lol

I had a date with the girl next door
Now i know not to trust girls anymore
I was only ten and she was nine
After a while it was going pretty fine
We played on the swings and slide
Before she left and hide
I looked and I cried
Was it me or was it the slide
Were did she go and why did she leave
She left me to cry and to greive
Until i heard her laugh
So i went to her garden and there she was
With my mate called buzz
She said " go away "
Used for my slide
I felt so depressed

he he

this 1 was randomly sent to me, but its a belter.

If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers,
if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.
if smiles were water i'd send u the sea,

if love was a person i'd send u ME.

AWWWW thats luvly that MCQ aww

gud poems from u lot yet again........


Title:Jeans

yep great poems i loveeeeeeee them

Jeans

I wear jeans all the time, appearance being important to me.
And everyday i take the time, to look the best that i can be.
I slip on my shirt and thin top, and slip on my jeans,
They cost me alot of cash so when i eat, i look out for the beans.
Faded, groovy, not too wide, i keep in with the style,
And with the smile that i reflect, i go for hundreds of miles.
Pockets on the front, as well as the back, inside i keep my change,
And if i wear the tracksuit bottoms, i suddenly feel a bit strange.
I guess im vain , i take up time, making sure i look the part,
But the only reason i do all this, is to warm my girlfriends heart.

heartbreak...

ever had the feeling of your heart ripping?
you know you love them, but ur tripping.
its the feeling when you get heartbroken,
that hurts me the most, but cant be spoken
but please anyone point me to the one for me
or ill be the lonely one, that will always be.