Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Har blinking har.

Jesus walks into a hotel, bungs 3 large nails onto the desk and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, and thus to derive humour from this would be exploitative

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

PMSL..........

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Man who walk in front of car get tyred. Man who walk behind car get exhausted...

An Irish mine detector finds mines by putting his fingers in his ears and stamping on the ground.

thats racist.....

Rangers are following Celtic into the Chinese market..........they are signing a player named WIN WAN SOON

Alex Mcleish was caught for speeding on his way to Murray Park today. "I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned

Q: What do Rangers Fans use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.

A 747 crashed in an Arkansas graveyard. So far officials have retrieved 1500 bodies.

And Livvy, someones gotta take it...

Edited at 22:43 Sat 11/02/06 (GMT)

If a tree falls in the forrest and theres no-one about does the falling tree make a noise?

a man walks into a bar and says 'ouch'

soz that wa poo

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

'A man speaks when he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something. '

I aint gettin no plane

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.