Erik lives with me now, since you grew a back bone you became too overwhelming..........he brought the spare key with him, good lad to his old man our Erik

I told him to take it! Mummys boy he is you know that, he's always stuck up for me!

You only wanna know him cos you wasnt there when he was a baby....didnt help me with him, well its too late now pal, theres a method in his madness

Oh come off it I was there 247 it was YOU that threw me out when baby Erik was born. I tried to stay but you wasn havin non of it! Hes my boy he ll never wind me up like how his mar did!!!!

Why did i throw you out? Your behaviour was atrocious. You treated me like a slave! I dunno how i stayed with you for that long! The only time you treated me nice was when you wanted feeding!

And who put the food on the table???

WHO moaned about fillin the fridge an toppin up the lecky? Haha

YOU!

You PUSHED me.

Eriks upbringing is all YOUR fault. If only youd of shown a little appreciation, a little kindness and understanding, but no, not you, I want I want I want, you gotta all about my behaviour, you were unbearable!

Erik is a well mannered polite handsome young man thanks to me!

If i was that unbearable why did you beg me to take you back????

Knew you'd start yanno

I had to come back for Erik, you were goin off the rails power trippin with your new back bone, he was just a boy!

Speak soon, Im off to my £30 a night room and need to kill the cockroaches before I sleep, you could of sorted that spare room I gave you money to do up!

Hurry up and say good night

Whatever!

Sleep well with the spiders!

The spare room is fabulous actuallly ask Posh Jos.......oops!

Night

Haha Joshua!!!!

Ill save the dead ones for your steak pie...Night

I molested your boy.

Pssssssst Fathead....did you hear someone mention our son?

Dont sweat it Paw, Erik said he had to finish the job off himself as captain kirk couldn complete his task.

Can I please sleep in the spare room ?

Course you can. I'll leave the front door key where ive always hid it. Lock up behind you though and try to be quiet

Ow thank you.

Some my clothes there still? In your room? Or did you cut the lot up????

Oh did yu have to mention the clothes getting cut up?

Actually, it was only 2 pair of jeans. All still in your wardrobe

Sound, ill try not to wake you when I grab em later, I mean, it might be easier for me just to sleep in your bed, you know, paint fumes in spare room, tins a bar n tha, might make a racket n stink the house out goin in there, what ya say ???

Have you had a drink?

No why?? 1 typo??

No, no typo, just didnt want you coming in stinking of ale.

Id prefer it if you stayed in the spare room tonight if am honest. D'ya mind?