Al Gore's Piercing

Why did Al Gore get a belly ring?
Because George Bush had a D**k Cheney.

Why did God give women...

Q: Why did God give women more brain cells than cows?
A: So that women don't sh*t themselves when you play with their t*ts

Hit TV Shows in Iraq

"Husseinfeld"
"Mad About Everything"

"U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

"Suddenly Sanctions"

"Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest"

"Matima Loves Chachi"

"Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"

"Wheel of Fortune and Terror"

"Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"

"Achmed's Creek"

"The Price is Right If Saddam Says It's Right"

"M*U*S*T*A*S*H"

"Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses"

"Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque"

"When Kurds Attack"

"Just Shoot Me"

"My Two Baghdads"

"Diagnosis Heresy"

"Everybody Loves Saddam Or He'll Have Them Shot"

"Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things"

"Burka Baywatch"

Q)What's the difference between boiling water and a woman?

A)You put a piece of meat in boiling water and it gets softer...

Edited at 13:24 Tue 19/07/05 (BST)

Q. Why are guys faster than girls?
A. They have a stick shift and ball bearings.

Ive just been eating some wotsits and the jokes on the back are so awful

eg. what goes ooooooooooo

a cow with no lips

:-(

Why don't witches wear undies?

To get better grip on their brooms.

What did the Bathtub say to the Toilet Bowl?

I may not get as much a$$ as you do, but I don't take no sh*t.

How did Captain Hook die?

He wiped his bum with the wrong hand.

ooooooooooooo (my no lipped cow impression) .....sorry the bad ones are always the best lol

2 cannibals walkin down the road, 1 passed his brother....

Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, one @ss, two calves, one pu**y, and some crabs on hares.

Q:What did the deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
A:Cancer.

Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?
A: The Captain's log.

Q:Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A:So he could run his fingers through his hair!

Edited at 16:04 Wed 20/07/05 (BST)

What do George Michael and Wellington Boots have in common?
They both get sucked off in bogs

Supermega, classic, I won't say which ones cos I got a very changeable sense of humour but please keep them coming. All priceless. Later days

10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player

1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.

Little Girls

Why don't little girls fart?
Because they don't have a$$holes until they're married.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it!

Men, Don't Say this at Victioria's Secret


10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No, thanks. I'm just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this!!!
6. Oh, the size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. That's okay. You don't have to wrap it, I'll eat it here!
4. Will you model this for me?
3. Miracle what? This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks?! You're just going to end up naked anyway!
1. And the thing a man should never, ever under any circumstances say out loud in Victoria's Secret: Oh, honey, you'll never get your fat @ss into that!