A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning
Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table,and he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,'For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house.
It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to
fetch the newspaper and croissants.
It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.
It was Mummy Bear who put the bloody cats out, cleaned the litter boxes............

................gave the cats their food, and refilled their water.
And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because
I'm only going to say this once.................


I HAVEN'T MADE THE FLIPPING PORRIDGE YET!!!

Edited at 09:41 Fri 13/06/08 (BST)

was flippin the word you usually use when telling that joke

yeah sorry a typo error....silly me lol

fancy typing flipping and not flippin'
*rolls eyes*

Rolls Tids eyes back to him so he can see to carry on his saga

please.. karri feel free to make an addition

Wasnt it Daddy Bear who did his share cos he was a New Age Bear and felt he had to participate in the household chores to help the much frustrated MMommy Bear..who was snowed under with a multitude of tasks around the home as well as cultivating the Herb garden

Dunno, but if i was him i'd be out with the lads getting tanked up, throwing some arrows and generally be a slobbish bloke......
Then id wake up in the morning and do the new age dad thing

Is that with or without a missive hangover lol.......so Daddy bear wakes up in the morning and screams to Mommy Bear .." never mind porridge Wench I want a Full English Breakfast".Mommy Bear had been up half the night with Baby Bear who ws teething and wasnt in the mood for her slob of husbands antics..so she took the frying pan with all its contents and whacked Daddy Bear around the head with it causing some contusions and a depressed skull fracture..........seeing as youre into herbal remedies" she said...."get out in the garden and find youreself a cure and while youre at it dig up some veg for tea tonight dear"

....to which daddy bear thinks 'sod that' goes and gets hair of the dog, visits the local greasy spoon first then has another session with his mates, goes back to his mates and listens to great rock music while downing some sort of spirit and they play cards till all hours.....then he wakes up feeling all bad all over again, visits the local BP station to buy some £2:99 flowers and goes to face the music

He Arrives home with his stumpy tail between his legs..(do bears have tails? lol) to find his bin bag packed on the doorstep.looking all sheepish and folorn he walks through the door to see his Mrs stood there with the baby in her arms a scowl on her face that would of turned Medusa to stone...........he pulls the flowers from behind his back as he gets on his knees to beg forgiveness as he hands her the flowers stil with the price tag attached........."So im worth £2.99 am I?" she bellows.......he just flutters his eyelashes at her and gives her the puppy dog eyes...........she relents the silly mare but warns him that if theres one more escapade like last night hes out on his ear,then passes him the baby n says " you can look after him now Im off to bingo with the girls"

...then daddy bear puts baby bear to bed, he cracks open more beer and goes on tinternet and tunes into rockradio and play online pool and they live happily everafter