Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?
A stick.

Two peanuts walk into a bar in a rough area.
One was asalted.

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and says "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
.
.
.
.
.
.
whoops wrong folder.

Edited at 15:36 Sun 2/12/07 (GMT)

Haha they're brilliant!

I'll move this to fun and games, keep it running and see how it goes.
Might encourage people to stop the rude and unecessary jokes.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mate!

Why did the one handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop!

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot!

There were two talking sausages in a frying pan, one sausage says to the other, "it's a bit hot in here" the other one says "Ahhh a talking sausage!"

ROFL!!!

2 oranges sitting at a bar, one says to the other "you're round"

LMFAO squeezy, that isnt a bad joke, thats blimen Funny !!!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."




Remember to keep it clean, please!

Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 14:08 Tue 11/12/07 (GMT)

Hahaaaaaaaaaa.........

lol
OMG im in title
and so this room has been made
next make me a......
hmmmm


cheese sandwich?

why did the whale cross the sea?

to get to the oher tide

PMSLLL



Edited for the quote.

Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 14:08 Tue 11/12/07 (GMT)

this is all courtesy of me

I opened the door to a 6 ft beetle who smacked me round the face and ran off.... apparently theres a bad bug going around.

What do bees do if they want to drive?
wait at the buzz stop.

Two fish were in a tank. Ones says to the other, 'do you know how to drive this thing?'

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?
It was a litterbug

ROFLMAO

* What's Mary short for?
* She's got no legs.


* Ask me if I'm a tree.
* Huh?
* Ask me if I'm a tree.
* Are you a tree?
* No.



* Ask me if I have a banana in my ear.
* Do you have a banana in your ear?
* I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.



* What's red and looks like a bucket?
* A red bucket.
* What's blue and looks like a bucket?
* A red bucket in disguise.


I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 9 pints of beer!

Knock, knock.
Who?s there?
Federal Express.
Federal Express who?
I don?t know. I just deliver the packages...

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish under his arm.

"Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks.
"Yes, of course," says the fish shop owner.
"Great," replies the man, nodding at the fish under his arm, "It's his birthday!"

Lmao!!

wish i had more like that one lol

a blonde and a brunette jump off a building. who hits the ground first? the brunette because the blond stops to ask for directions.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towel?











They were dirty crooks!



Haw haw.